We often use technology to bridge the distances we find ourselves faced with. If we cannot be together, we send a text, call, or video message to each other. Before these digital mediations, we would maybe use a landline or send a letter.
On June 16, 1593, Henry IV of France wrote to his mistress
I have waited patiently for one whole day without news of you; I have been counting the time and that’s what it must be. But a second day–I can see no reason for it, unless my servants have grown lazy or been captured by the enemy, for I dare not put the blame on you, my beautiful angel: I am too confident of your affection–which is certainly due to me, for my love was never greater, nor my desire more urgent; that is why I repeat this refrain in all my letters: come, come, come, my dear love.
Faced with absence, we revert to lesser versions to feel closeness to the other. The more advanced our technology gets, the more we add features to our ability to be together, and yet, mere mediated presence is never enough.
Erving Goffman wrote in “Behavior in Public Spaces: Notes on the social organizing of gatherings” that: “Copresence renders persons uniquely accessible, available, and subject to one another.”
What he meant was that to be in the presence of other individuals fundamentally changes the nature of interactions and relationships, making people more open, receptive, and accountable to each other. Co-presence is more than being together in the same space or being able to share a digital platform.
When we are copresent, we are physically and socially available for interaction, making it easier to initiate and engage in communication. We are within range of each other’s senses and perceived by others, who in turn are perceived by us. Co-presence, therefore, signifies a readiness to interact and be engaged, fostering a sense of readiness and mutual attentiveness that may not exist in situations of mere co-location. It creates a dynamic where individuals are not simply observers but active participants in shaping the social environment and influencing each other’s experiences and behaviors.
Think about the co-presence created by the three floating dots in a text conversation. Naturally, the affordances of text mean that the feelings of presence are significantly truncated. We cannot see, smell, or hear the other – and yet a text can create a deep sense of co-presence because of the intimate history that has been built both inside and outside the digital platform.
The three floating dots, or “ellipsis” as they are more formally known, have a better, but lesser-known name. They are “suspension points”, a more apt descriptor since they highlight the pause, hesitation, or trailing off in speech or writing.
The suspension points not only keep those waiting glued to the screen, but they also allow those waiting to sense that something is happening to the sender, the conversation is not over, but there could be many reasons for the delay…