One of the best things about taking the early morning train to Stockholm is seeing the sun slowly rise in nature. Even through the train window the experience of seeing the reddish light spread across the foggy fields is beautiful experience. The remainder of fog on the lakes and the lack of ice on the grass also promises that summer will soon be here. And right now I need the idea of summer.
This year, so far, has been a nightmare of teaching and personal upheaval. The teaching has remained a constant but now, at least, I have organised an apartment after a few months in the parental spare room. In addition to the teaching and moving there is the struggle to find, fund, organise and commence a post-doc research agenda for myself. This has gone well in the finding but less well in the organising, funding and commencing part. So I feel a tad worn out in this area.
But don’t get me wrong there is a lot of good stuff in my life to make it happy. It’s just that now in the early spring the concept, idea, myth of summer has reared its head and I picture myself relaxing in the warmth in some exotic location.
It is the same every early spring. The idea of summer comes as a powerful desire. It takes many forms but mainly it consists of variations on a theme. The main idea is that this summer will be spent relaxing in the sun, on a beach somewhere. Even though I know that every year I tend to need the summer to catch up on my work the idea of the relaxing summer is probably one of the most powerful myths in my life.
Don’t get me wrong summer is relaxing but it is never as carefree as in the myth of summertime.